What is ‘unrequited love’ and why is it so painful?

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When you love someone but they don’t reciprocate your feelings back, that unmatched feeling can be incredibly heartbreaking. When you give your entire heart out to someone, but they just don’t feel the same, your dreams and hopes can be shattered into a million pieces making way for ‘unrequited love’ to be etched onto your heart forever.

Is unrequited love what you think it to be?

Yes. Unrequited love is a type of romantic love where one person has deep feelings for another person who does not reciprocate those feelings. In simple and honest words, it is a one-sided love affair. You may experience a strong desire to be with the other person, but the person you want to be with doesn’t feel the same.

One can’t force a person to love and so, the one who unconditionally loves someone, can’t force the latter to love them back. And hence, the experience of unrequited love can be very painful. When someone is in love with another person, they often have a powerful emotional connection. They invest a lot of time and energy into the relationship. And when these aspects, (which may seem tiny but isn’t at all) aren’t returned, it can leave the person feeling rejected, hurt, and unimportant.

And feeling rejected and unimportant can be possibly one of the most heart-rending feelings ever.

Another reason why unrequited love is so painful is that it can trigger feelings of low self-worth. When someone loves another person who does not feel the same way, it can make them question their own value and worth as a person. They may wonder why they are not good enough or why the other person does not see them in the same way. The person can spiral down into an abyss of self-neglect, hatred and even depression. Love is a powerful feeling that can either enrich a person with all kinds of happiness or completely make them crumble into painful little pieces.

Unrequited love can also create a sense of loss and grief. When someone invests time and energy into a relationship, it becomes a part of their identity. When that relationship is not reciprocated, it can feel like a loss of that part of their identity, which can be incredibly difficult to come to terms with.

In addition to these emotional challenges, unrequited love can also create physical problems. You may experience deep stress and anxiety of not knowing whether or not the other person likes you back. You may also be anxious and extremely sad knowing that the person doesn’t love you back. This can cause loss of appetite, sleep disturbances and believe it or not, even a slight pang of pain in the chest.

Coping with unrequited love is very difficult. Everyone faces rejection at some point in life. Moving on is not an immediate option for many as people tend to dwell on the sadness for a long time until they are emotionally and mentally ready to love someone else again.

Those who are wondering, is it possible to move on from unrequited love—yes, it is. You can take your time, whether it is days, weeks, months or even years to move on from the person and finally be happy with yourself. When you start loving yourself, the hole left in your heart will finally be filled. And if you’re lucky soon enough, you might just find someone who will reciprocate your feelings back.

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