Query: My wife only has sex with me only when she wants it. Whenever I try to initiate sex, she tries to avoid it. I feel like she doesn’t value my needs in our marriage. Please suggest how do I talk to her.
Response by Shivani Misri Sadhoo: It is quite frustrating if one has an unfulfilled sexual relationshipas it has the potential to create tension, rift and frustration within your relationship.As a partner try to explore the reasons behind her behaviour and encourage open communication by asking gentle and non-accusatory questions. Seek to understand if there are any underlying causes affecting her desire for intimacy, such as stress, hormonal changes, relationship dynamics, or personal concerns.
Then, you may share your needs and desires, by clearly expressing your own sexual needs and desires, emphasizing the essence of intimacy in your relationship. Help your wife understand the significance of mutual satisfaction and emotional connection in fostering a healthy and fulfilling marriage.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Psychologist and Relationship Expert, Founder Director Saarthi Counselling Services