No matter how hard you try, toxic parents will never accept anything as adequate: How come you’re not getting full marks despite excelling at art? They claim to know everything about you, but they never really seem to pay attention when you try to express your emotions.

They also constantly compare you with yourselves, your sister, and your friends—all of whom are radiant—while simultaneously seeming envious of your good fortune. They make fun of you in front of other people and then claim to be “just kidding.” They argue among themselves and with you. They make an effort to persuade you that you are the one who is mentally ill, not them. They gently or not so subtly convey that you are the cause of their problems in life. If you relate to any of this, you need to be cautious of your own parenting style.

In accordance with popular belief, intergenerational trauma takes a toll on our kids and their kids too. Continue reading to find out how toxic parenting affects kids into adulthood and how it could manifest in your own parenting.