When you are fully aware of what you want in life, the universe gives its all to get it to you. Just like that Nitin and Raya found true love in one another when they matched with each other on QuackQuack, a dating app. In their case, both wanted to find a suitable partner and settle down for marriage. In an exclusive interview with ETimes Lifestyle, Nitin and Raya talk to us about finding love online and how being sure of wanting to settle down and commit helped them find each other. Read on:
Did you ever think you will find love online?
Raya: That was the plan. Nowadays, everyone is finding love online; I thought I, too, had a shot. When you meet the right person, things just fall into place; whether you find them online or offline makes no difference.
Nitin: Yes, of course. Most of my friends were using dating apps by the time I took an interest. Half of them had even found someone they really wanted to pursue things with; it gave me hope. Online dating is, to date, a bit misunderstood. People hear dating apps, and immediately their minds go to something along the line of hook-ups and casual dating. But in today’s busy world, it is the new and updated means to finding true love.
How different is online dating from finding love around you?
Raya: It’s quite different. Online, you have so many options that it can be a tad bit overwhelming. But at the end of the day, it works in your favour; you have the scope to browse slowly and pick that one person who seems to be the best fit for you.
Nitin: It has its similarities and differences; there are a lot of options in online dating. But the chance to meet up in real-time and fall for all things unique in them, all the little quirks and cute flaws, that’s not there. Online you get to know the version of a person they put on display.
What are some of the things you don’t like when dating online?
Raya: I have enjoyed online dating; but there’s this one tiny thing, if you don’t keep a check on yourself, scrolling through dating profiles can become addictive. Initially, I’d keep browsing with no particular goal in mind; just looking through people’s profiles like we do on social media. Later I realized that it was unproductive at its best and made sure I did not stay online for more than 15 to 20 minutes a day.
Nitin: I always worried about how would I know if the person I am starting to get serious about is not chatting with other people on the side. I know it can happen IRL too, however, the likelihood is increased by the sea of people available on online dating apps.
Were you putting up your perfect side while dating online or via texts? Or were you your true self?
Raya: Who isn’t? People will tell you they were being exactly who they are, and that’s partially true. Would you put your anger issues on display the first time you meet someone online or offline? It is only normal to be the best self. At least I was putting up my perfect side as long as it was possible. When I first met Nitin, I was pretending to be such a goodie two shoes, but then only slowly he got to know my crazier side.
Nitin: Yes. I wanted women to like me, haha. But even in putting up my best version, I was being me. The best and the worst, both versions are me and any sane person will choose to show the former if they want to impress someone.
Can you tell us what your dating bio was about?
Raya: “Love is all we need.” I am a hardcore romantic and I wanted people to know that about me.
Nitin: “Here to make real connections. Let’s have a chat if you like what you see.” I was looking for a serious relationship and wanted to make it clear through my bio. I was tired of casually dating women; I was ready to settle down when I started using QuackQuack.
Is connecting over online dating apps as exciting as meeting someone in a physical space?
Raya: Absolutely yes. You see the person, first, you assume that they are a certain way, then you connect and start chatting and eventually find out they are actually even better than you imagined; at least, that’s what happened with Nitin. It is exciting.
Nitin: It’s exciting, especially the wait to meet the person you have been building rapport with and trying to impress for a significant amount of time. It’s a little bit of a tease that adds to the excitement of dating.
What drew you to your partner online?
Raya: Nitin is very good-looking, at least in my eyes. I wanted tall, dark, and handsome and that’s exactly what I got in Nitin. So, I’d say his appearance is what made me connect with him, haha, but then he turned out to be a sweetheart too. You can’t tell how gentle and polite he is by just looking at his pictures.
Nitin: Raya sent me a message and I was impressed by her confidence. She wrote, “Hey, your DP looks pretty good.” I swear I could never write that to anyone, girl or guy. There was something different about her, something special. I wanted to get to know her. Raya seemed like a fun person to have in your life.
Did you come across any fake profiles or false identities online? Any tips to tell if a person is real or fake?
Raya: There are fake profiles and I have had some experiences of my own. I’d say ignore and report, that’s all. You’ll understand it’s fake from the profile picture or the bio. Mostly fake profiles have no bio.
Nitin: I spoke to someone for a day who turned out to be fake. I did not realize until she said some things that were a clear red flag. But it’s actually easy to spot a fake person. It’s in the way they talk; it’s always too good to be true.
Was it love at first sight when you both met or did you take your time getting to know your partner?
Raya: It was more like an attraction at first sight rather than love. It took me time to get to know him.
Nitin: No, not really. I found her interesting, but it was not even close to love at first sight. I did not even think it would lead to a love story but thankfully it did. I feel really lucky to have her in my life, and the realization came slowly and steadily.
Do you feel taking chances or a ‘leap of faith’ is very important to get to where you are right now?
Raya: Totally. Take chances when you have the time. Soon it’ll be too late and your life will be in the past. I randomly texted Nitin and logged out thinking he won’t even see my message. And here we are today, engaged and in love.
Nitin: Love is a leap of faith. Which one of your relationships will stick and which won’t is tricky to tell. You just keep faith in the person, faith in yourself, and keep loving. If things work out, you are lucky; if they don’t consider themselves lucky even then because they were never meant to. Life is very random, and taking leaps of faith or leaps, in general, is the only way to navigate life.
Read also: Swipe for Love: “Trusting your gut and instinct is really important in online dating”